We here at Van Camp have been very lucky to be able to round up the very best Camp Counselors available. All of them are highly qualified in their fields and will be able to help you with anything you need.
Jim
Vendor Monitor
Former midway huckster with Barnum & Bailey Circus. Once dated the bearded lady, but found more head with the beer lady.
Marie
Gate Committee
A vital member at the front gate. Her experience includes a two-year tour of duty with N.A.T.O. at the Berlin Wall. In other words, come through that gate and she’ll shoot ya!
Mike
Band & Stage Entertainment Staff
Former Roadie with Pink Floyd & Johnny Cash bands. It’s all about Mike!
Shawn
Staff Advisor
Shawn’s primary duties involve advising the camp staff on current weather conditions, and when our beer supply is getting low.
Sue Z Q
Kids Activities Counselor
All fun & games. Former nun with the Order of Sisters of Perpetual Pain.
Wayne
Fun & Games Staff
Served as Activities Director at Woodstock. Winner at International Beer Pong Championships in ’06.
Kathy
Welcoming Committee
Resided for 12 years at Betty Ford Clinic. If you see her wandering the grounds without her name tag, please return her to the front gate.
Carol
Drama Counselor
Finalist in the American Idol Shillington Contest. A real drama queen.
Chad
Nature Staff Counselor
Spent 17 months in the rain forest studying the mating habits of the three-toed tobacco beetle.
Snotty
Fun & Games Staff
Winner of Bruce Springsteen & Willie Nelson look-alike contests.
Josh
Kitchen Staff
Highest test score ever recorded at the Ronald McDonald’s Institute. Recipient of the Cheese Burglar Achievement Award in 1992.
Mr. Ron
Advocate for Campers
He’s really Charles Manson in the witness protection program.
Sharpie
Van Show Counselor
Previously employed as a parking lot valet & demolition driver.
Larry
Security Patrol
5 years experience as a night watchman at a Doberman Pinscher pound. Previously a greeter at Wal-Mart.
Rev. Tommy
Kitchen Staff
A 1973 graduate of the Leroy’s Culinary Institute & Truck Driving School. Specializing in delicacies from the henhouse or road kill.
Toad
Security & Adult Games Coach
How do you mess with a name like Toad? Former arts & crafts manager at the “Y”.
Louise
Gate-keeper & Ice Staff
Former Border Crossing Guard in Canada. This cool gal is also in charge of ice sales.
JoAnn
Another Olympic standout. She took the Gold in Campfire Jumping at Innsbruck & was former Miss Mohnton Pageant winner.
Geri
Drama Staff Counselor
This camp member was an understudy for the part of Ginger on Gilligan’s Island.
Bobert
Former Blue Mtn. & Reading Railroad Engineer heads up our steering committee, and his track record shows he may steer us anywhere.
Mighty Quinn
Not quite the Eskimo but one cool cat in the hat. This counselor wears several hats.
Linda
Publicity Staff
As a former editor for “People Magazine” she has Hollywood connections. Doesn’t do much for us, but looks good on her resume.
Scott
Chief cook & bottle washer
Three years in Vietnam plus three years in the slammer round out his dietary skills from hash to hash browns.
Phil
Activities Counselor
Former centerfielder with the Monocacy Mud Pies. Now, he makes mud pies with the kiddies.
Art
Camp Finance Officer
Currently on work release program from Eastern State Penitentiary on charges of embezzlement, grand larceny & obstruction of justice.
Schmutzy
Talent Show Staff
As a 16th cousin of Jack Nicholson, Schmutzy thinks he knows talent when he sees it!
Becky
Orientation Staff
This Leap Year Gal took first place in the 2000 Old Milwaukee Beer Guzzling Championship.
Bob
Former placekicker with the Frankfurt Yellow Jackets football team. Now part of security. That’s not a pose, he really looks like that!
Dolly
Drama Counselor
Starred as Alice the housekeeper in an off-Broadway production of "The Brady Bunch" musical. Way off-Broadway!
Tooty
Activities & Ice Sales Staff
Starred in the pilot episode of “Sex in the City.”
Block
Songwriter of the Peter, Paul & Mary tune, “Puff the Magic Dragon.” Got the idea one night with his friend, Bertha.
Peggy
Dining Coordinator
This former White House staff member in the Reagan Administration will serve up your eggs quicker than you can say "Gorbachev!"
Chas-Worth
Kids Activities Counselor
Former activities director at Oak Hill Sanatorium. Kids seem to like his brownies, but we don’t know why!
Rich
Grief Counselor
Whenever campers spot him they usually say “Good Grief.” Staff photographer also makes people shutter.
Dakota
Awards Staff
We are not sure if it’s North or South that she hails from, but this Dakota holds the honored position of our Trophy Girl.
Dimples
Program Director
Here’s another nickname you don’t mess with. Sometimes called the 4th member of the ZZ Top Band.
Barb
Former Olympic Silver Medalist in the Turtle Head Competition. Staff member of printing committee if we can get her out of her shell.
Dennis
Retired Rear Admiral from the Mohnton Navy Yard. Now insures smooth sailing for camp activities.
Yux
Alcohol Advisor
This former bottle-washer at the Sam Adams Brewhouse joined our staff when the brewery purchased an automated bottling line.
John
Senior Staff
Former defenseman with the Exeter X-rays Hockey Club. Took a puck between the eyes, now needs 2 beers to balance his head.
Steve
Steve Staff
Steve plays a vital role on our camp staff. Since he is our only Steve he is irreplaceable as our only Steve.
Deb
Front Gate Staff
Auditioned for part in "Debbie Does Doylestown”, and was originally considered for a part in “Annie.”
Teddy
This former log-splitter from Southern Bavaria can handle an ax and a stein of Altbier!
Tyler
Youth Counselor
Next generation of Van Campers. Once built an entire truck-in out of toothpicks.
Stacey
Orientation Leader
Former cell block matron at NY State Women’s Correctional Facility.
Pat
Orientation Staff
After refusing to join the “Red Hat Ladies” started the “Pink Hat Ladies Organization.”
Carl
Orientation Counselor
Selected to head orientation staff because we can’t figure out what orientation he is.
Ray
Van Show Staff
This jack-of-all-trades once used a snapping turtle & an oak tree to jack up his van to fix a flat.
Brad
Communications Counselor
Specializing in foreign languages & signing. Former member of the Russian KGB.
Jaime
Project Staff Coordinator
This former NASA Space Shuttle Advisor handles camp activities that are out of this world.
Nicky
Orientation Staff
A key member of our staff, Nicky’s job is to keep Carl oriented. You can see that isn’t working.
Nancy
Kitchen Staff
Vital member of our culinary crew, went cross-eyed watching water boil.
Wacko
Complaint Dept.
He runs our Camp Complaint Dept. with Helen Waite. You can either deal with our wacko or go to Helen Waite.
Tom
People think he's a little fruity because he's a wino. We think it's just sour grapes!
Kim
Green Earth Counselor
Our staff environmentalist monitors all camp functions for ecological conformity.
Jimmy
The camp was lucky to lure Jim away from his cushy job with the State Dept., but we have trouble determining what state he’s in.
Kathy
Van Camp was lucky to land this Equestrian Expert. She told "Barbaro" to go break a leg for good luck! Horsin' around aside, her class will cover everything from horse-bleep to horseshoes!
Kiley
This counselor is not tongue-tied, she's tie-dyed. You'll learn how to dye everything from a Fruit-of-the-Loom to an old jock strap!
Special "Guest" Class Counselors
Judy in Disguise
We don't know "Egg-actly" what Judy has in mind, but we do know eggs are involved. Stay tuned! Something is sure to hatch.
"How To" Howard
This nationally recognized "How To" author will conduct a class on "How To Judge A Van." Here comes the judge...
Mystery Counselor
If you ever wondered how to make custom plumbing out of anything from a snorkel to a flashlight, you don't want to miss this class! (Compliant with PH & PL regulations as well as Rule 6 applications).
Coop
This nutty professor is no chicken! His class on screen printing should be quite interesting.
Leon
You wanna know how to make your own wine? This special guest counselor has made so much wine over the years his feet are purple!
Leadfoot
Speaking of feet, Leadfoot, a nationally known advocate for World Peas, will instruct campers on the fine art of van modification. We expect you guys to do burnouts to get to his class!